A Conversation At Cadillac Headquarters

“We really need to sell more cars. Who has money to buy luxury vehicles?”

“Don’t those techie startup people have a ton of money to blow?”

“Oh yeah, I saw that HBO show, they totally have stupid money. Who can we get to sell them our cars? Who do they love?”

“Steve Jobs.”

“Oh yeah! Shit wait, isn’t he dead?”

“Totally dead.”

“Hold on hold on, what about that OTHER GUY. The one who was on Dancing With The Stars?”

“Steve Wozniak.”

“YES THAT GUY. Totally that guy. They love that dude. And he was on TV, so he’s got mass appeal too!”

“Okay so, let’s call him up and get him to do an endorsement.”

* phone is ringing *

speakerphone: “You’re talking to Woz.”

“Woz! Bubby! We want to pay you a couple million just to be in a Cadillac commercial. We’ll even give you a couple of them.”

speakerphone: “Do they have bluetooth?”

“They totally have whatever that is you said – they’re Cadillacs!”

speakerphone: “Cool, I can pair multiple devices with different cars!”

“So you’re in? Faboo! We’re shooting next week.”

wozcadi

EPILOGUE

The film crew attempted to make a commercial with Steve Wozniak. After shooting at Steve Wozniak’s home for 7 consecutive days, they were only able to get approximately 5 seconds of usable dialogue and 2 seconds of visual footage – Woz kept speaking too quickly and wouldn’t stop showing everyone how cool it was to connect his gizmos to the cars they’d brought.